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meezergalIt seems that ever since my dad's accident in 2002, life has massively sucked $h!t. (My dad was left a quadriplegic and had to have a leg amputated this summer because of infection.)
Now, on the 28th of September, dad nearly died. NO, I'm NOT exaggerating. He nearly died. He had such a massive infection he went into septic shock and his blood pressure dropped to 60/40 at one point...the doctors were telling us (my sister and me) to get the rest of the family to the hospital as they didn't think he would last the night. Naturally, my asshole brother was upnorth and WOULD NOT COME BACK even though he has Power of Attorney for healthcare--he just said to call him and let him know what was going on. He didn't come back till this Monday and was complaining about being asked to spend a day in the hospital, keeping dad company.
WHAT THE FUCK??!!???
Now, dad is better and will probably come home tomorrow (Friday). How much longer till the next infection? Or the next one? Till the one he does NOT recover from? He's amazed the doctors time and again...he doesn't have a hell of a lot of time left. And that just makes me so fucking mad. I want him to live to see the accident settlement money, to live long enough to enjoy some of it, for God's sake. So he and mom, who's ALSO disabled (rheumatoid arthritis, severe), can enjoy it. They deserve it. He DESERVES it!!! But I doubt he will. The lawyers think the other parties (the at-fault ones) are stalling till dad dies, so they'll be able to pay less. Jesus H. Christ. What kind of fucked-up legal system do we have in this country???
I can't take this too much longer. I canNOT take it much longer. I WILL go crazy. I WILL. Yeah, God doesn't give you more than you can bear, but I think I'm rapidly getting to the point where I CAN'T bear it. I don't know how to deal any more. And yes, I'm seeing someone, a therapist. But why does my life, my family's life, have to be so goddamned fucked up?? Why can't life be more NORMAL?????
I didn't do a cut-tag. Sorry. I just had to get this out.
Now, on the 28th of September, dad nearly died. NO, I'm NOT exaggerating. He nearly died. He had such a massive infection he went into septic shock and his blood pressure dropped to 60/40 at one point...the doctors were telling us (my sister and me) to get the rest of the family to the hospital as they didn't think he would last the night. Naturally, my asshole brother was upnorth and WOULD NOT COME BACK even though he has Power of Attorney for healthcare--he just said to call him and let him know what was going on. He didn't come back till this Monday and was complaining about being asked to spend a day in the hospital, keeping dad company.
WHAT THE FUCK??!!???
Now, dad is better and will probably come home tomorrow (Friday). How much longer till the next infection? Or the next one? Till the one he does NOT recover from? He's amazed the doctors time and again...he doesn't have a hell of a lot of time left. And that just makes me so fucking mad. I want him to live to see the accident settlement money, to live long enough to enjoy some of it, for God's sake. So he and mom, who's ALSO disabled (rheumatoid arthritis, severe), can enjoy it. They deserve it. He DESERVES it!!! But I doubt he will. The lawyers think the other parties (the at-fault ones) are stalling till dad dies, so they'll be able to pay less. Jesus H. Christ. What kind of fucked-up legal system do we have in this country???
I can't take this too much longer. I canNOT take it much longer. I WILL go crazy. I WILL. Yeah, God doesn't give you more than you can bear, but I think I'm rapidly getting to the point where I CAN'T bear it. I don't know how to deal any more. And yes, I'm seeing someone, a therapist. But why does my life, my family's life, have to be so goddamned fucked up?? Why can't life be more NORMAL?????
I didn't do a cut-tag. Sorry. I just had to get this out.